heavy the water as i sink below
by quinnking
Summary: "Mister Locksley is Neal's emergency contact," Spencer explains. "He's also the other person listed on who would take Henry if anything were to happen." "Wait," Regina says, growing impatient. "You mean to tell me that we're both listed? We don't even know each other."
1. Chapter 1

She's jolted awake by her phone, sitting up in bed and checking the caller I.D. It's a Private Caller and Regina debates whether or not she should answer. Something in her gut twists.

So she does.

"Hello?"

"Miss Mills?"

"Speaking," she says, tiredly, her voice raspy.

The man on the phone clears his throat before launching into why he's called at such an hour. Regina's already up and getting dressed, hurrying out the door before he even finishes talking.

Her hands grip her steering wheel so tight that her knuckles are bone-white and she tries her hardest to keep her tears at bay.

Once she goes through the hell of paying for parking, she runs as quickly as she can to the information desk.

"I'm looking for -"

"Miss Mills?"

Regina whips around and sees a doctor and a man in a suit. Her heart is stuttering in her chest and she clenches her hands into fists to try to compose herself.

"What happened?"

Her ears are buzzing by time they explain that Emma and Neal were driving home from dinner and were struck by a pickup truck. Neal had died on impact, Emma had just passed away on the way to the hospital.

"Where's Henry? Their son, was he with them?"

"No, Miss Mills," the man in the suit says, empathetically, and Regina wants to punch him. "He was being taken care of by a Belle French."

She swallows, her throat constricting. "Why am I here?"

"You were Miss Swan's emergency contact," the doctor tells her. "And you're also the person she listed to take in Henry if anything was to happen to her."

Before she can respond a voice, a British voice, behind her asks, "I'm looking for a Mister Spencer?" at the courtesy desk.

"Ah, there he is," the man, Mister Spencer, says. He walks around her. "Mister Locksley, over here, if you please."

The man walks up behind her, stands to her right. "What's happened?"

They tell him the story and Regina takes the time to catch her breath before wondering, _who is this guy, and why is he here?_

"Mister Locksley is Neal's emergency contact," Spencer explains. "He's also the other person listed on who would take Henry if anything were to happen."

"Wait," Regina says, growing impatient. "You mean to tell me that we're both listed? We don't even know each other."

The doctor and Spencer look at each other.

"With due respect," Spencer starts and Regina just _knows_ she's going to have to stop herself from losing her temper, "it's not our decision. You two are listed, you two decide how to proceed. Together, one of you taking care of him, or putting him in the foster system."

"I would never put him in the system," Regina practically spits. "His mother was a foster child."

Locksley decides to pipe in. "If we both decided to take care of him, would we shuttle him back an-"

"It's up to you, and to the courts," Spencer interjects.

"Where is Henry now?" Locksley asks, and he sounds just as pissed as Regina feels.

"He's with Belle at Emma and Neal's home."

Regina and Locksley take a chance to share a look.

"We're supposed to, what, stay there?" Regina asks, not kindly.

"Well," Spencer begins, and great, Regina's probably going to lose it this time. "For the night, that would be wise. Henry's probably already asleep."

Regina nods and looks at Locksley again.

"You two go and here," Spencer gives Regina a card with a name, a number and an address. "That's where Henry's social worker is. Be there for 8 a.m. to discuss the court issue and to resolve the situation with him and you two."

And with that, he's gone, leaving Regina seething because what even was his job?

She turns to Locksley. "Do you know how to get to their house or do you need a ride?"

"I know how to get there," he says and he looks tired. "Call me Robin, by the way."

She nods. "Regina."

* * *

It's weird being inside their house, knowing they're gone. Robin and Regina are quiet as they get through the front door, seeing Belle sitting in the chair beside the lamp with a book. Her eyes are puffy so Robin's willing to guess that she got a phone call a while ago.

"Oh, you must be Robin," Belle says. "And Regina, hello."

Regina smiles at the girl and turns to look at Robin.

"Henry's asleep. He's been a bit fussy but I think that's past now." She looks between them for a moment. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Robin doesn't know how to respond, is only able to nod and look away. He hears Regina say something to Belle, sees her give her some money.

"If you need anything, Regina, you have my number. Just call me, alright?"

"Thanks, Belle," Robin says before Regina can have a chance, and he ushers her out of the house. He can't breathe, he needs to go for a walk or break something. Or drink.

He sees Regina just stand there and he doesn't know what to do, if she expects comfort or if she's in the same boat as him.

"I'll, uh, I'll take the couch in Henry's room," Robin says after a moment of awkward silence.

"I'll take the spare room, I guess," she says quietly, in a defeated sort of way. She looks tired.

Robin stuffs his hand in his pocket, doesn't know what to say or how to carry on. "Do you want to join me for a drink before bed? We could both use one."

"I'm not a drinker."

"Maybe some other time, then." And he winces, because it came off as a come-on and he hopes to God she doesn't think that's what it was.

He sees her nod and not respond, thank God.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, Robin."

"You, too. Regina."

He watches her walk up the stairs, sees the way her steps are measured and the way her breath is hitching, and he knows she's going to cry as soon as she's behind closed doors.

So is he, can feel it in the tightening of his throat and the soreness of his chest.

He forgets the drink, counts to forty instead. He grabs the blanket from the couch and walks up the stairs slowly, quietly.

He shucks his clothes off to his boxers, pulls out the futon, and curls himself underneath. He steadies his breathing enough before he actually starts crying, although the tears remain unfallen in his eyes.

He knows he won't sleep, he knows it. But he wants to try so he can be here for Henry when the morning comes.

So he counts again, until he doesn't see anything and can't hear his thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

There's a cry and Robin startles awake, practically falling off of the futon onto the floor. He's disoriented for a moment before he hears another cry and realizes, _Henry. It's Henry._

He's up and cradling the baby in his arms without a second thought, and then he smells it. And, oh Gods, it's awful.

With a groan he brings Henry over to the changing station on the other side of the bedroom and he grabs all the stuff he'll need to clean him up.

"Robin?"

Robin turns for a quick second to see a rumpled Regina standing in the doorway, looking at him curiously.

"I'm just changing him."

Regina's beside him now, nose scrunched. With a bump of her hip, Robin's pushed out of the way and she stands in his place. She grabs the baby powder and does her thing and Henry is all wrapped up within just a few short seconds.

Robin looks at her curiously as she picks Henry up and rocks him back and forth. She looks beautiful in the morning, he idly notices, until he realizes he's gawking.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

He snaps out of it quickly. "I know how to change a baby," he argues, voice low.

"Well, do you know how to feed one? Because I have to shower and look presentable when we have our appointment. It's just after six."

She gently hands Henry over to him. "It won't take me long, just feed him and then I'll come down and you can shower." Her nose wrinkles again. "You need it."

Before he can retort she's gone and he rolls his eyes. This'll be fun, he thinks, as he looks down at Henry.

"She's mean," he coos at the little boy, "I don't smell."

Henry gurgles.

"Thanks for agreeing," he mutters, before rocking the baby in his arms and bringing him down the stairs to the kitchen.

After fighting with the booster seat for a good couple of minutes, Robin finally gets Henry situated. The infant looks bored, waiting for his food, looking at Robin expectantly.

Right. Food.

Robin gets to work searching for breakfast for Henry, fumbling with the child proofed locks for a moment before pulling out what he needs. There's a selection on the table, just in case Henry doesn't like something.

He pops the cap off of some peas and dips the spoon in, scooping a little up.

"Henry," Robin says, gently, "please like peas."

He brings the spoon to Henry's mouth, and thank Gods, Henry eats it without spitting it back on him. They're just finishing up the small jar when Regina comes down the stairs, looking, well, immaculate.

"Is he fed?" she asks as she walks into the kitchen, giving Henry a sweet smile.

"Yes."

Regina walks up to Henry and kisses him on the forehead and he hiccups.

"Did you give him milk?"

 _Shit._

"Uh, I -"

"I'll do it," she says, annoyed. "Go up and shower. And hurry it along."

He glares at her. " _You're_ the one who took a long shower, how is this m-"

"Stop arguing and just go." And then she turns away from him, ignoring his existence and Robin feels his blood boiling. He's supposed to care for a child with this woman? This infuriating woman?

Grumbling to himself, he bounds up the stairs and takes the hottest shower of his life, hoping the steam will rid him of his headache and the searing water will stop his thoughts.

* * *

Regina's spent a lot of time with Henry, she has. And she's fairly confident that he'll take to her quicker than he'll take to Robin, who he's hardly spent any time with in his short life.

But as she watches the milk boil, as she simmers it and bottles it up and tests it on her wrist, she can't help but think she'll fuck something up. She's not mother material. Sure, she loves kids and she loves Henry, but she's not… maternal. Isn't this why she doesn't have a kid of her own?

Henry's… what, seven and a half months? She can't screw up his life that much, she thinks, although she doesn't quite believe it. The hardest part of his infancy is over, isn't it? He can eat _some_ soft regular foods, he's already started teething, he can hold up his own bottle.

She groans as she watches him nibble at the bottle tip, giving her a curious look. Surely he can't sense her stress, can he? Are babies that intelligent?

Surely enough once he's done with his bottle he blinks twice at her and reaches out, making making grabby-hand motions at her.

She chuckles and unhooks the tray from the highchair and takes him into her arms, rocking him gently back and forth.

He coos at her, making little gurgling noises, and… _shit, what did Emma used to do when she burped him? Oh, yes._

She grabs a towel from the counter and latches it on her shoulder, just in case, because she knows Emma's told her that he doesn't spit up much anymore, but she's wearing a nice blouse and she doesn't have anything else left here to change into.

She's lost in thought when Robin walks down the stairs, all dressed and showered and smelling _less_ like forest. She supposes that's a good thing. He even looks handsome, she admits to herself.

"They have an extra carseat in the garage," Regina tells Robin. "Be a dear and go put it into my car, will you?"

Robin rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything and does what she asks. She's bouncing Henry in her arms for a good ten minutes before Robin comes barreling back through the front door.

"Are we ready?" she asks him expectantly, holding out Henry to him so she can get her purse.

Robin grabs Henry and holds him in a way that shows he was taken by surprise and Regina scoffs as she takes him back from her.

"Jesus, it's like you've never held a baby before. Do they not have them in England?"

"Nope, fresh out," he snarks, and Regina may have actually laughed if she wasn't so annoyed.

"Let's just go." _Before I kill you,_ she almost says, doesn't, and walks outside. Robin follows closely behind, letting the door slam behind him.

They get Henry situated into his carseat easily enough and the ride is very silent and extremely awkward. You can practically taste the disparity between them and it's putting Regina on edge, has her biting the inside of her cheek to stop any oncoming panic attacks from arising.

"Can you get Henry, please?" she asks him as she parks.

"Are you okay?"

She laughs, a small burst of sound. "Just… can you get him out and into the building? I just need a minute."

He doesn't say anything in response and she's grateful that he does what she asks, and once she's alone in the car, she closes her eyes and takes several deep breaths.

She's not ready for this, but she can't go against the wishes of her _dead_ best friend. She can't let Robin take care of Henry by himself, or worse, she can't let Henry go into foster care. She can't.

Her jaw is flexing so hard that it starts to hurt after a moment and she breaths heavily through her nose, trying to regain her composure.

She can do this. She can do this.

* * *

He can't do this.

He will, though, because he is a man of honour after all. But he can't do this. He's going to fuck this kid up beyond repair.

(Okay, he supposes, that's probably not true. But he's not in his right mind right now).

"Okay, let's get this over with," Regina says from behind Robin, startling him and causing him to practically choke on his own tongue.

"You sound confident," he snipes, without meaning to. "We'll do fine," he adds on after a moment. "Neal and Emma obviously saw us as fit parents and Henry was their life. They wouldn't leave him with just anyone."

This seems to placate her and Robin lets out a breath as they walk into the building and get told to wait by reception. It's not a long wait, in fact just as they're about to sit, they hear a soft, "Mister Locksley and Miss Mills?"

A woman comes up and takes Henry from Robin's arms, bringing him into a room. Examination, possibly? He doesn't know. He doesn't have time to think about it since they're being pulled into an office.

The office is a bit too cozy for Robin's taste. It seems forced, like they're trying to put parents into a false sense of security. There's a lot of pink and white on the walls.

"I'm Mary Margaret Blanchard," the young woman introduces herself.

She's pretty, dark haired and full of innocence.

"It says here that Henry was placed in your custody after his parents were tragically killed in a car accident," she reads off, flipping through the file. "This is a rather unorthodox case. We've never had two people who aren't a couple listed."

Robin snorts and Regina shoots him a glare.

"That doesn't make us any less capable, Miss Blanchard," Regina says.

"It doesn't," Mary Margaret agrees. "But for Henry's sake, we need to sort some things out. You two… most definitely aren't together?"

"No," they say in unison and Robin has his mouth open to say something but Regina beats him to the punch. "We met yesterday for the first time, in fact. I've heard of Robin from Neal, and he seems like a good enough man to help raise a child with." Her voice takes on this sweet-as-honey edge and Robin stops himself from reacting in surprise.

Mary Margaret smiles, all too believing. "I'm glad to hear that," she says. "We need to get some technicalities out of the way before you see a judge." She grabs her pen and flips around in her file. "Where will you two stay."

"Regina's place," Robin says quickly, before Regina can have a chance. He at least wants to make it seem like they've talked about this. And he remembers Neal once saying that Regina's place is massive and he, well. Robin lives in a shithole.

He's sure if Mary Margaret wasn't here he'd be given a death glare.

"Yes," she says after a moment. "I have a larger place on the other side of town. Enough bedrooms to make this situation comfortable."

Mary Margaret writes this down.

"Okay, and you both have jobs?" They nod. "What do you do, Regina?"

"I'm an exec at an advertising firm."

More writing.

"And you, Robin?"

"I'm a carpenter."

Mary Margaret nods. "Good, good," she murmurs as she writes more notes. "Do either of you plan on taking time off to take care of Henry, or at least working part-time?"

Neither answer for a moment and Robin sends a pleading glance Regina's way.

"My schedule can be flexible," she says, voice smooth. "And I'm sure we can work something out with Robin's work schedule as well. There's also a sitter we can use if we should ever need."

He almost reaches over and kisses her, goddamn, she's good.

"Good to hear," Mary Margaret says, her voice taking on a light note. "I'll be honest. I think you two will do a fine job with Henry and I'm giving a positive recommendation to your judge. But, kids are a tough deal. You need to be fully committed. And I'll be doing two drop-ins throughout the next year to see how you're taking this and how Henry is thriving."

"Of course." Regina's voice is cool, calm and collected, and Robin envies her ability to play this off so easily when he _knows_ she was on the edge of a panic attack no more than half an hour ago.

Robin makes a small noise of agreement, keeping his eyes trained on Mary Margaret as she stands up.

"Your court date is set for the day after tomorrow. Do dress appropriately."

Robin lets out a breath and neither of them speak until they're in the car, sitting in the parking lot.

"That went well," he drawls after a moment, looking sideways at Regina for her reaction.

She laughs, a pretty little sound he wants to hear again. "It could have gone worse," she agrees.

He changes his mind in this moment. For now, anyway.

He _can_ do this.

* * *

The day that Regina has had in between the appointment with Miss Blanchard and their court date, which is tomorrow, has been extremely busy.

Robin has moved a lot of his stuff into the guest bedroom and, with the help of Belle (who Regina is paying handsomely, and shuttling her back and forth between houses to make it easier) watching Henry while they got settled, both Regina and Robin were able to baby proof the house.

They go back to Emma and Neal's house and gather all of Henry's stuff and bring it to Regina's. They'll deal with the house itself when they're settled after their courtdate.

Regina finds out that Robin has talked to his supervisor, who's giving him two weeks off with pay _and_ who agreed to make changes in his schedule. This takes a small weight off of her chest.

It's about nine in the evening when they put Henry down in his new room, the guest bedroom that had the softest colouring on the walls, and they're sitting on the couch in the living room.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Robin says with a groan.

"We have to," she whispers, leaning on her side and looking at him. "We can do this."

Robin looks back at her with a level of intensity that almost knocks the breath out of her. "I think you'll be a great mum."

She lets herself smile in response. "I think you'll make a great dad," she says, without missing a beat. "You're great with him and even if you _do_ smell like forest, you'll be good for him. Neal told me a lot about you."

"So you weren't lying about that?"

She chuckles. "No, I wasn't. Emma also said you were one of the nice ones."

"I heard a lot about you, you know," he says, knowingly. "I heard a lot of stories from Emma, about how you two would get into trouble." She laughs at that. "About how beautiful you are. They weren't lying, either."

Regina blushes at that and tries to hide it behind her hand. "I heard you were a thief," she says flatly after a moment.

Robin laughs. "I did it before I got this job. I'm not proud of it."

"I'm not judging you."

"Aren't you?"

They look at each other for a moment, and then another, and more, and Regina feels herself softening, and _no._ She gets up quickly.

"I'm going to go to bed. We have a big day tomorrow. I'll get up with Henry and feed him, and you can shower first."

"Goodnight, Regina."

She's heading toward the stairs but looks over her shoulder at him. She can't help it.

"Goodnight, Robin."


	3. Chapter 3

"Do I look okay?"

 _Yes,_ he thinks, says it too and doesn't realize he sounds exasperated until she gives him a look. "Sorry, yes, you look…" He looks at her, really looks at her, and yes. "Beautiful."

Is that a blush on her cheeks? Can't be.

"Is Henry all f-"

"Yeah, and I changed his diaper."

"Wow, two days of parenting and you're finally not going to cry at the sign of a dirty diaper," she jokes, although it sounds a bit mechanic and forced. She's obviously nervous since it's the day of their courtdate.

He laughs too, softly, so that he can try to make her feel a bit at ease. "I cried a little bit," he jokes back, trying not to look smug when he sees the corners of her lips tilt up. "Ready to go?"

"You drive," she says, and he doesn't question it because he remembers how she was just two days prior. She picks up Henry from his place in his playpen, which Robin bought and put together yesterday thank you very much. He coos at her and Robin feels himself soften already because of the lad. "Let's go."

The drive is pretty much silent except for Henry cooing in the backseat at the radio.

Regina holds Henry tight to her as they wait for their appointment with the judge and Robin would offer to take the baby from her except he's pretty sure she'd rip his head off for even suggesting it.

Robin isn't sure when he checks out but he thinks it's somewhere between them standing for the judge, being seated, and being fed motions that he didn't understand. Because, Christ, the American court system is confusing.

He only checks back in when he hears Regina's disgruntled, "that's it?" And when he looks at her, her face is shellshocked.

"Yes, Miss Mills," the judge says, patiently. Almost with a hint of amusement.

"What if we're serial killers?"

Robin has to bite on his bottom lip to keep from laughing, because he's sure _that_ wouldn't go well.

"Are you?"

"No," Regina mutters. She seems to collect herself and Robin can't wait to be out of this courthouse so he can let loose the laughter. "I mean, thank you. Your Honour."

The judge looks at them. "Parenting is a tough job, and based on what I've read from your files, you're perfectly adequate. Although this situation is unorthodox, I think you'll be great parents to Henry. For the court's purpose, we'll be sending a social worker to you twice over the next year to make sure Henry's being cared for properly. They will be random drop-ins," he warns.

Robin feels more than sees Regina let a breath out.

"Don't overthink it. It'll go fine as long as you remember to put Henry first."

 _Right, as if it'll be that easy,_ Robin thinks. But then he cranes his head, sees Henry on Regina's lap. Maybe it will be that easy.

* * *

"Well," Regina says as they get back to her place, just after one p.m. They stopped for lunch. Robin's holding a sleeping Henry. "That was… more painless than I expected."

Robin chuckles. "I almost lost it when you spoke up."

Regina glowers at him. "It just doesn't seem prudent to give a baby off to two people who could easily be criminals," she says, but with amusement.

"We'll really have to set up a schedule, and have a conversation with Belle about when she can babysit him," he says after he puts Henry down for his nap.

"I agree," Regina says, as she sits herself on the couch. Robin sits beside her. "It'll be easier for me to take certain days off, but there will be nights that I won't be home."

Robin nods, and she watches his adam's apple bob when he swallows. "Should we get a nanny?"

"No," Regina says firmly. "Parents make it work. So will we."

There's a nagging voice in her head that resembles Emma that reminds her, _you_ _ **are**_ _parents._

"My work is mostly day," Robin says, helpfully. "A friend of mine sends his lad off to a daycare. I can try to get the number and see if Henry can be sent there during the day between when you leave for work and when I get home."

Regina nods, drumming her fingers on her thighs. "How early do you usually start?"

"Six a.m. But I'm usually home by 4 p.m. And if it's raining, it'll be an earlier day. Even shorter days in the winter."

"Perfect. I'll contact Miss French and set a schedule."

They sit in an awkward silence, and Regina can feel his eyes on her. She tries not to let her discomfort (it _is_ discomfort, she tells herself) show when she gets up hastily.

"I'll, uh. I'll pick up some stuff for dinner."

She hears his throaty chuckle as she beelines for her keys and the door and tries to pass the shiver that runs through her on exhaustion.


End file.
